so when i came out and told my mom i was gay my mom said she loved me anyway and then we heard my sister yell from the other room “can someone answer the phone” and my mom goes “what its not ringing” and she yells back “BECAUSE I FUCKING CALLED IT” and my mom yelled at her
I saw this on Facebook, though it was worth a share.
Dear chris,
I came back from a hard walk down to the grass market to find that you had put cups of water all around my room, and writen on my door “revenge kenny” with tooth paste.
This was a mild inconvenience.
So upon finding this we at 18/3 started plotting on how to return the favour.
So i put it to you Chris.
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.
As you can see from the following photo I have taken your door handle and the 4 screws to hold it ont the door.
I have also taken all the cups of water from my room and placed them outside your room, following this I took the water which we used to clean the tooth paste off my door and filled some of the cups with it.
In several of these cups are hidden the 4 screws.
My game to you is you must drink EVERY cup of water/toothpaste to then find the 4 screws. You may be thinking you can just empty them out and find the screws that way rather than drinking them. However unless you actually drink them ALL, I will not give you the clue as to where your door handle is hidden.
The choice is your Chris…
Stay locked out.
or drink it all.HOLY SHIT IS THIS GUY ACTUALLY SATAN???
excellent.
Well Damn.
(Source: doctorbatcakes)
AU one direction open up the fucKIN’ PIT
ybee:
ive been laughing for the last half an hour because sun bears exist
help
it’s kinda funny how when you get older you start to enjoy the things you hated as a kid like taking naps and getting spanked
the second one was kind of unexpected
but no one is disagreeing
Rachel? What’s wrong?
Mercedes.
MERCEDES.
he was hit by a mercedes
(Source: sunshineanderson)
#harry and louis are finally moved into their new flat together #and the location is still under wraps and the internet is still confused about whether they’re living together or separately#management hasn’t contacted them in a few days because no stories have gotten out #and there’s nothing besides the usual speculation on tumblr and twitter #and they feel free for the first time in a long while #and it’s their third day in the new place #and they’ve slept on a mattress on the floor for the last few days because they’re afraid to leave the house for furniture and break this spell#and they’ve mostly just been eating a lot of chinese delivery and having a lot of floor sex #but harry finally decides that day 3 is the time to paint the walls and buy some furniture and make this place livable #and louis protests that he really rather enjoys both hardwood floor picnics and sex thank you #and harry says that hardwood floor sex while enjoyable is slightly more stressful when you’re on the bottom and if louis agrees to go out harry will repay him in both sexual favors and an ikea ice cream cone #and after harry kisses him on the cheek to seal the deal they go to ikea wearing ridiculous disguises and have a small squabble over appropriate paint colors before they decide on blue for harry’s room and red for louis’ #and when they get back home they go to their respective rooms to paint but they’re trying to talk and godammit this flat is stupidly big and they can’t hear each other from this far away #so they decide to start working on the living room together instead not because they miss each other no that’s not it at all #it’s just because it’s more practical to start painting the public space first what if the boys come over #so harry lays down some newspaper and louis finally comes out of his bedroom looking like he got in a brutal fight with the paint can and lost and harry tries not to laugh but fails #and louis acts all offended but harry’s shirt is off and when harry lifts his arm to cover his stupid barking laughter louis can see his ‘hi’ tattoo in louis’ own handwriting #and then louis gets an idea and he holds harry’s arm up and with his paint covered finger writes in a delicate red ‘s’ after the ‘hi’ and suddenly neither of them are laughing anymore and harry’s having a bit of trouble breathing actually #and he says ‘i am you know’ #and when louis looks up questioningly from staring at harry’s arm harry says ‘yours’ #and louis doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like crying but he does and it’s stupid because of course harry is his it’s just that there have been so many rumors about harry lately and this messy ink and paint on the inside of harry’s arm means as much to him as it does to louis #and louis says ‘i’m yours too’ and then ’ i want to be yours tonight’ #and harry wonders if he means what harry thinks he means because louis almost always tops but then louis is lying back on the newspaper and pulling harry on top of him with slippery red hands and harry just tries to remember how to breathe #and they don’t have to go to the studio till late tomorrow and they have most of the summer stretching out in front of them their whole lives stretching out in front of them and god this shitty year is all so worth it and harry thinks yeah hardwood floor sex really isn’t all that bad #and they’re happy and in love the end
(Source: danhowullz)
