yzma:
kelly rowland texting her boyfriend via microsoft excel and then getting annoyed when he doesn’t text back
THERE WAS A PLASTIC BAG FLOATING IN THE AIR AS WE DROVE BY AND I WHISPERED TO MY MOM “do u ever feel like a plastic bag” AND WE ALMOST CRASHED THOSE WOULDVE BEEN MY LAST WORDS
*phone vibrates while sitting on it*
me: I’m gonna eat you out real good babe
her: I’m on my period tho
me:
the one direction tracked tag is a terrifying place to be
really really terrifying
jesus only had 12 followers
but they talked to him
why don’t you guys talk to me
Seriously, I don’t even care if you’re the creepy one
(Source: silkbone)
